Journey Fan

August 23, 2013

Monday. Arrive in Moscow. Exit the airport. Breathe again. Notice as you board your bus, Bolt, the Jamaican sprinter-dubbed-fastest-person-ever is passing you on his way into the terminal. He is tall and moves slow with a long gait and swagger. A kind of statement-walk that says, I’m in no hurry. I decide in that moment I am also in no hurry. But that I lack swagger.

 

Tuesday August 20th: Showtime Moscow. 9-11pm. It kicks ass. A sweaty club-show that felt like old times. Like Minneapolis in our hey day. It’s a huge departure from the separation arenas and festivals create between audience and band. The crowd bombards the stage with heat seeking paper airplanes during Plane. I am lit up. We get back to the hotel by midnight, still ablaze with energy. I draw a bath. Soak. and Skype home to simulate the effect of being near. With a little more than an hour’s rest, we check-out at 330am and board a sketchy van with a scary driver who refuses to drive until all of our hand-bags are in the trunk. Red neon lights from a worn-out casino illuminate the scene. Our driver is grumpy. We don’t understand him, but figure it out what we wants by playing an irritating version of charades. Then we let him drive us for more than an hour. It feels like a dream but it is not a dream. I give myself up to my ambivalent-higher-power and do my best to relax as he and many other cars create their own rules and limits for the road. We have begun our commute to Poland. It is still dark, but it is already another show day. We get our boarding-passes and body-scans and connect through Berlin. This gives us two flights to accumulate sleep credits. For the crew, this is all they’ll get as they forever remain the first to arrive and the last to leave. I read on the plane a news story about a young banker who dies from working too many all-nighters; a reportedly 72 hour shift. I am concerned for my crew’s well-being and wonder if I am a tyrant of a lesser-degree. I’m too delirious to pass good judgment, so like tackling many of the world’s problems, I decide to put it off and address it later.

 

Wednesday August 21st: Continuation of travel day/show day Warsaw, Poland. I forget what I wanted to address and steal a 3-hour nap at a hotel before proceeding to venue for sound-check and interviews. Mona and I tip-toe over a few new songs while I impose ancient titles on her. The gig is reminiscent of the old days, but it stings like a new day. There are struggles, small losses and barely visible victories, which is what the early days were about: gigging to find yourself. I am happy it still exists and haven’t given in entirely to a script. I even manage to slip into a musical-meditation a few times during the show, but transcendence through any activity is tough to maintain. My sweat-soaked shirt reminds me I’m working. I decide I have no style.

 

Occasionally my mind starts asking my mouth what it’s talking about. Duality is alive and well within my vessel. I must’ve been hired take them somewhere. I feel my attitude changing. I feel my age. My dream to sing & be financially sound is disillusioned by time-travel, out-of-date narcissism, industry politics, and getting what you wish for. I drift off in song and fantasize about my next life set to classical music in a not-too-distant future, where perhaps I’ve retired from the hustle and grind, taken some cooking classes, maybe a woodworking or engine-building class, maybe have a yoga teaching certificate, more cats, have grown a beard, have grown some balls, and are trying to figure out what to do with my foundation. We blow through 2 hours of music with little break. Whether lost in meditation or contemplation. I decide it was a fun gig. I also decide to recommit to Emerson’s description of success:

 

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure betrayal of false friends; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a happy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

 

– Taken from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Bestselling Audio-book, Brilliant Shit Too Long to Tweet.

 

Thursday August 22nd: We’re allowed to sleep-in and squeeze-in a look-around old-town Warsaw. It’s quaint. It’s scarred. But it’s welcoming. Its buildings wear old clothes; pre and post-war. Warsaw is still recovering, but it could very soon pass as another fantastical suburb of Disneyland. Ice cream is for sale everywhere! Moscow on the other hand, I would reduced to just being the It’s-A-Small-World ride, but without the peace, love and tolerance. The Polish are very nice and the young people are steadily pushing the country along with modern freedoms and participation. Making up for lost time. I cross paths with other journeymen in the square. We take a few minutes and exchange hugs, FAQ’s, and photographs. One remarkably nervous young man tells me how he hitchhiked 2000 miles from France to attend last night’s show. I can’t imagine what that’s like. I decide I’m spoiled.

 

By midday we leave for the airport again. Passport control gives a thorough examination of my document with a look of confusion, no doubt caused by the zig-zag and spontaneity of my route. Today I am off to Thailand. But not without doing a phone interview at the airport. And two more phoners while connecting through London. I decide I loathe interviews. Any question pertaining to music or performance is a suggestion that art is finite and can actually be explained. I feel foolish whenever I try, no matter how close to the heart I may manage a quip.

 

We fly 11 hours to Bangkok. I watch a documentary on the band Journey. I decide I am a Journey fan.

 

Friday August 23rd: Thailand Sound-Check Day: We walk right off the plane into a press conference in the airport. I am groggy and somewhat dehydrated. I feel like an ass. I must look like an ass. I’m certain I smell like ass. I pray my many passages through duty-free have provided a cheap-fragrant cover. I am greeted by two very tall Thai models who adorn me with a flower garland. I smell better. I bow in reverence for the opportunity to be here and say a few confused words into a bouquet of microphones. We drive straight to the venue to load-in for the next big bang. It’s pouring. Some trucks on the freeway haul labor-workers in the back of their pick-ups. They are exposed to the elements. It’s pouring. I go soft in my Volvo, which is hardly an inconvenience. I second the motion that I am spoiled.

 

Upon arrival my backpack is leaking. What healthy-pond-scum concoction I had is now soaked into literature, notebook and camera. I fantasize more about retirement and breathe into the accident. I want to be sad about the spill, but there’s no point. My team shows me pity, but they’re on an even tighter schedule, with duties that require the use of brain and brawn. I have no room to complain.

 

Our hosts have prepared the dressing room with fresh Thai coconuts which, rich in magnesium, elevates my mood. Gravity pulls my shoulders down and I let out a long stupid laugh, redirecting the rant in my head onto the keys of the laptop. Ten fingers tap dancing, taking out the trash.

 

On the late night drive to our hotel, my mind drifts out of the window, present to distance traveled, but generally unfazed that Bangkok is today’s landscape. I decide I am jaded.

 

I also decide long-term-use suitcases should be called Nut-cases. Cold sores are most-likely triggered by lack of sleep, processed food, and not wanting one. Magic 8 balls are perfectly reliable oracles of wisdom. I will forever be 3 minutes late to lobby call. And just like a phone company programs bugs into phones before unveiling the new model, eye glasses seem to smudge all by themselves.

 

It’s now Saturday August 24th and it arrives with a promise of rejuvenation. I will abuse my snooze alarm. I will practice music and yoga. I will prepare. I will treat myself to an authentic Thai massage before returning to Impact Arena to squeeze every bit of my being through the slimy-narrow-folds in my throat. I have no doubt I’ll be buzzing again after the show. High on the whole experience, and happy to be here.

 

I decide this tour is but one song in a wonderfully long dance.

And I decide it’s my favorite.

COMMENTS (42)
  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    “Karma” is one essential concept of Buddhism which is at the root of my belief. Karma means “action” which describes every action there is a reaction; it covers all actions-thoughts, words and deeds; it is whatever thrown out there will be eventually, but inevitably finds its way back to its origin like when one shouts out in a giant dark cave, and the echo will return in the due time; “The space is curved.” by my dear Albert Einstein. Upon this idea, I believe my web of karma presents now and then is shaped and woven, as my reality is being created from my own action and certainly entangled into this web.

    One key feature of Karma, I thought it is “Repeat”. (“Repeat” of Karma can take this movie for the further understanding: Groundhog Day.) Every person, and everything come to our life is to give us an opportunity to purify ourselves, to evolve us. Once one thing/ lesson, no matter it’s on the romance, work, or life has been purified, the similar scenario around doesn’t need to be cleaned again, because the phenomena has been perceived and the natural self-healing power inside of every person gradually does its work and lights up the mind in joy. From Buddhism’s concept, it doesn’t quite talk about love directly, instead the concept focuses on Metta-慈, it means the kindness and goodness., Karuna-悲-compassion, Mudita-喜- it means joy, the pleasure comes from delighting in other well-being, Upeksha-捨-Equanimity, means no-attachment, non-discrimination, but it doesn’t mean indifference.

    “In the series of things those which follow are always aptly fitted to those which have gone before; for this series is not like a mere enumeration of disjointed things, which has only a necessary sequence, but it is a rational connection: and as all existing things are arranged together harmoniously, so the things which come into existence exhibit no mere succession, but a certain wonderful relationship. “an excerpt from the Meditations, Marcus Aurelius. In other words, there isn’t an individual matter happened in singular. Nothing is happened suddenly. As well as this message is written for the past whole five months, mostly on the “amazing” Sundays which is the only calmness time I have without working in office. Thanks God. Some memories take the heavy headaches and several parcels of tissues for tiny tears. Thank you being my karma and motive. I am so glad I finished it and have this honor to share it with you.

    References:
    1. The Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius
    2. Personal Power through Awareness, by Sanaya Roman, published by Lumnin Essence Productions
    3. The Magic of M. C. Escher, by MauritsCornelis Escher, published by Harry N. Abrams Inc. New York in 2000 (Mona dear, you probably will love his pieces too, related to mtart. )
    4. Genesis, by Sebastião Salgado, published by Taschen GmbH in 2013, Cologne, Germany
    5. Film: Groundhog Day: Directed by Harold Ramis.
    6. Colorless TsukuruTazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, by Haruki Murakami, Tokyo, Japan in 2013
    7. The Diamond of Perfect Wisdom Sutra – Full Context: http://ctzen.org/sunnyvale/enUS/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=141&Itemid=57

  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    The reality that I kept the long laborious journey I tried to advance towards in the space, gazed into the world and beyond. “How come a human has to suffer in pain?” asked my brain. The body says what it thinks of it and it may be the spirit has the opportunity to look through it as a-wholeness, the self-power from within, from nature. The pain from body, the difficulty that everyone has sooner or later, but what is it and how? The four elements in the world, fire, water, air, and soil; they originally don’t have the particular shapes. When I look through the fire, the shape of fire is not solid in a form. What I perceive in the fire, it’s the projection of myself, burning. What I see fire is fire, then that projection lens is me, I am me. What I see fire is tranquility, it’s me in tranquility. Same concept to perceive the water which reflects the condition of myself. Even the wise cannot tell. But the mirror of water can show many things. Were, are and something that not yet happened. I realize that I have approached no-further; the place I have approached the world beyond, the white desert, the margin, the extreme border, the shore. Standing there, my imagination rules that I am the margin, the void; the void is myself. I am not attached to anything. The non-attachment does not exist. I am overcome by this surreal and yet joyful sense. My void who crafted in void and this void dig the name within the acres of kingdom. I attain to this void, nothing is nothing; I am the void. I finally realize.

    Every being is given for the guardian and guide, a portion of oneself. And, this is every beings’ understanding and reason. It is quite a pilgrimage journey. And then, in the darkness of night, I saw
    the little silver winks, and the needle from Clotho’s hands, one Goddess of Fates from Greek mythology, started to do her works into my void; my attention was engraved the delicate light along the sketch of my body’s adumbration like the moon eclipses the sun and allow Clotho’s threads, spinning into whatever silver threads of things she pleases into my being.

    The wooden beads are the recorder to invoke Amitābha’s (one of Buddhas) name in a practice known as nianfo念佛 and the name Amitābha” is translated as “Infinite Light” in Buddhism. From Buddhism’s point, there 108 beads mean 108 vexations illustrating 6 senses (eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind) multiply 3 emotions (suffering, joy, neutral) are 18 kinds plus these 6 senses multiply 3 deeds( goodness, evil, neutral); so total 36 kinds. The 36 vexations multiply 3 for time being as past, present, and future which total equals to 108 vexations. O lord, the mathematics. To practice Amitābha’s name (Nianfo) is one technique to enlighten the inner spirit. It doesn’t matter when to do this practice or the material of beads, but just focus on the moment to practice 108 times in a circle with this recorder, and so possibly reach the Bodhi or called Nirvana (Sankrit) which is described as enlightenment, wisdom, knowledge, and the way. One my favorite paragraph is from “The Diamond of Perfect Wisdom Sutra”:

    All conditioned phenomena
    Are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, a shadow,
    Like dew or a flash of lightning;
    Thus we shall perceive them

  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    The unknown also shapes our imagination about art which promises us a moment, a day, a year or a lifetime. The exhibitions from the museum collection provide us to appreciate them and get me to think of my home and the ordinary things environ in which I often view those works as art; some retrospective emotions appear and transcend space and time. I continuously experience the private nature while especially enjoying these quiet moments. Personally opinion, great art is not to supply the answers but to invoke people to ask the questions or to develop their unlimited imagination and possibility. It is supposed to pull us close, challenge us, our world and help us react anew. Interestingly, the subjective of art also fills the joy of the perceivers to view them subjectively. One great thing in the world is Variety, the diversity, for things to be different and unique. Consequently, here is 93 million miles in my shoes (Hong Kong iTunes 2012, Thanks a lot for the release.). Past consecutive three summers, I locked myself in the library to prepare a license examination in the aviation industry, not an easy one; the acceptance rate is below 1%. The studies are mostly about the aviation conditions on the height 6.83 miles above the ground, the top of troposphere layer; but imagine this encouragement, I finished the test. Best song ever that actually has a good story to it. Best song ever that I am still listening three year later. The feedbacks from my students are positive, but this year I didn’t take any teaching class in order to pay more attention on this license study and try again; the result is important, I enjoy much pure joy to explore the knowledge on the process.

    Every year the exam days are different, last year it took place on 7~9 Sept, I was nervous and under the overwhelming pressure. However, I saw a defense while on the line to the examination venue; I thought, O lord, this must be another test for me, I guess what I can do is to send love through an adorable turtle to rescue and comfort a little big heart.

    “Go alone further.” My pilgrim journey was set to approach the possibility; I was trying to seek retreats for myself, in the river-shores, or mountain forests. I put on a backpack, a hat and a jacket, brought a bottle of water, a multi-function climbing gears, a map, few energy biscuits etc. Before every travel, I make sure I buy insurance beneficial my mum for the potential just-in-case. “There are three relations between thee and other things: the one to the body which surrounds thee; the second to the divine cause from which all things come to all; and the third to those who live with thee.” stated Marcus Aurelius. A droplet falls into the river; it doesn’t know what it will pass through, but it flows with the current. Seeing everything is my teacher and has my self-introspection. I took LLC airplane (Low-cost-carrier); less comforts, use of secondary airports, rapid turnaround; limited baggage but lower fares. My good college friend in the local, she studied PhD there, with her help, I could live in her previous dormitory, low cost; she has got married with her classmate, their wedding gift is wrapped cloth embroidered by the phoenix and dragons. And there I walked solely without mentioned some potential risks such as running into two drunkards at late night because flights delayed. No worries. All is safe.

    Upon journey, the photo taken is a way to do the documentary. In any good picture, there combination of the three elements of light, composition and the “the moment” or relationship captured and to bring the elements together, the image requires technical skills, deliberately organized and patiently wait. Most importantly, I must live that. In the meanwhile, I don’t like to use much technology which takes completely away from experiencing the world around me. Live the moment and so the story can be uncovered. Sometimes, a good picture is paid by luck and when the moment happens, I call it, Serendipity. The black-and-white photography can show how something otherwise is which tells the image not-an-easy-story. Quite a period of time ago, one my capture in black and white on the street was originally to join a competition, but been inspired by my muse the previous day. I am truly sorry for it; this was never my intention for this unhappiness. I wish I could give my muse a heads-up that it’s competition photography, but later I noticed that I screwed it up, and thus it too indicated how the direct communication is lack of, especially when I was trying to protect her in the public and so suggested things in a reserved way. What I really want to say is I truly apologize for it.

    The continuous long walks in solitude in nature I relive the child in myself, retreat and renew myself which is the original power that I am sufficient to purify myself and go through time into the healing while I am never really lonely in nature. I learned a lot from nature; for example, plants communicate and interact with each other, above ground, beneath and in air; in some kind of subtle and sophisticated ways. One can only Retire to its heart. The lens of mind shall be looked the direction from out to inside, not the opposite one. Therefore, there are some common features that I found our human’s nature have mimicked a lot from nature, the idea been an important archetype in relationship with the physical phenomena or evoked as metaphor in plots connected to religion, sociology or psychology.

    According to Carl Jung’s interpretation of analytical psychology, Archetypes are innate prototypes for ideas, which may subsequently become involved in the interpretation of observed phenomena. A group of memories and interpretations closely associated with an archetype is called a complex, and may be named for its central archetype. Jung’s archetypes seem to describe the psychological organs which I thought he is like Charles Darwin in psychology for the evolutionary processes. His famous forms of archetypes: 1. The Self. 2. The Shadow- every manifest part of ourselves has a repressed and opposite counterpart. 3. Anima- in the unconscious of the male, this archetype finds expression as a feminine inner personality; Jung viewed it as the sources of creative ability; the process may be developed from the intuition. He listed some mythology figures 4. Animus- in the unconscious of the female, there is a masculine inner personality for man of mere physical power, man of action or romance, for man as a helpful guide to understand himself. This archetype is Jung to recognize them how to manifest and exercise our ability. With this theory, Jung derives it to the collective unconscious by the universal human instincts, natural tendency and experience heredity in the system and thus applies this idea to the reality.

  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    After two days in the emergency room, that afternoon I watched attentively the intravenous drips while curled myself in half on the folded hospital chair besides the patient’s bed. Such a fresh breeze blowing through the window curtains and such gentle smooth voice with a magic sent me down.“It’s about tonight. Family may go home now to prepare some stuffs like the religious things…”said the doctor to my mum cautiously. No more morphine, doctor, he could not endure the pain anymore. I begged. I lived there, and sensed his agony. His eyes were half closed of themselves; he took a short rest between every unstable breaths. I heard some other sounds; the leaves rustling into the wind outside the window or no, my brother was flipping the newspaper? Or no, it was like someone was whispering together over the light near the gate; who is that? My engine turned dully. The one who stood beside mum was in a fair white color and in quite tranquility. The December wind rattled the windows again and the iridescent rays of sunshine reaching up, the hands from Goddess Iris’ immortal touches from the sky. The day in December is quite different. Such a warm sunshine afternoon. My brain did not allow me to dig deeper, my consciousness finally passed out after 48 hours without closing both eyes.

    He passed away at that night. The difference was I woke up later after a nap in few hours, but he didn’t. However, he knew I was really exhausted like taking a full-run marathon, he kept his last breath. His body was diminished into the smaller one; lay down within himself, the thin weight like he could be blown into the wind at any minute. I am grateful for the nurse’s kindness in the ambulance. In the nearly two hours’ drive at the midnight, he asked “What did he look like?” All the past memories flashed in seconds from eyes; it’s not his absence during every parent-teacher meeting, nor all graduation ceremony nor few honoring time she was awarded, distinguished service of the year, nor enjoying indifference dinners on the kitchen table alone, “There was a small scar in between of my eyes, it’s when I was about five, I run too fast naughtily and slid from the second floor to the ground, my forehead got hit; blood in stream, but he took me to hospital immediately at midnight…. That he is the greatest father in the world.” The nurse held him up, maintained his dignity and put his body in the home’s living room which was built up by him; a few tear stains upon his cold face; eyes closed by my mum’s gentle touch and uttered, “Stay peace…Follow the light of Buddha.”The oxygen mask was pulled out; in a few seconds I saw his last breath vanished into the hollowness. “…We are home now.” I continued, tears flooded the face and tapped him tamely like he was the infant in the cradle and then the coldness did his job, taking all senses away.

    Ash to ash, dust to dust,
    The night air delivered,
    The sound deep within silence,
    Shalt been transcended,
    Shalt been relieved,
    Guided into the light, into the wholeness,
    Into something thou come from.

    For the time being, time as if stood still and more things were bound to happen. I still worked over ten hours a day, two professions to make sure my rent, low cost at far outskirt of downtown, and student loan got paid, took public transportation to office, and studied a few books about license test in the morning if I could get up early. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” quoted Mark Twain. I don’t know if life would happier this way, but I thought I am eighty already, respond slowly, walk slowly and breathe slowly.

    “Go alone.”The voice said in my head one day. Go alone is an opportunity to meditate in completely silence, and to have a deep dialogue between one with oneself and all the sense will be sharpened by the surroundings. I imagine myself is Siddhartha(Buddha’s previous name) and experience the Buddhism philosophy, traveling like an ascetic monk, tracing my wanderings in nature, living in close companionship with nature, and having a connection with the spirits of trees, plants, rocks, wind, and river. Observe the current of river, the remnants of my memories rise to the shore and retreats again; the mind was bustling and rustling, the conflict between my flesh and spirit, for substance is like a river in continual flow and the activities of thoughts are rapidity proceeding in between.

    “Walk out, go alone.” The voice said it again or it’s the perception of senses penetrated by everything I saw, been accepted all that happens, as necessary as usual as they came out in a series of consequence from a principle and to a source of its original. After working hours, I wandered around; purposely create the silent blanks around me, a sort of maintaining the margin of space in my head and soul; I was in the vacuum condition.“Go alone further.” like Siddhartha; pass then through this little space conformably to nature, act just in journey, observe things in essence straightly. “Go alone further.” it is how every story begins, fuzzy, wonderful, a bit scary, a bit exciting, a bit uncertainty, and the risk-taking while heading out into the unknown or to the rebirth. It is me, a solely backpacker like you have seen in every airport or train station, and we probably missed out each other once at the same bridge. On the road that there is something waiting to be uncovered and thus they supply the resources of imagination into the adventures I take that I am a sentient being.

  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    “Tell you what.” said an anonymous.
    “Yea, what?” the other one replied.
    “Your statics are now facts.”
    “Tell you what; I’m familiar with facts too.”
    “Your facts are now fiction.”
    “Well you know, I have a college friend who writes science fiction. Her ideas are quite different…”

    It did not happen suddenly. The ongoing therapy process took about five years during this difficult time and I am so glad now that I was there to accompany besides him from day one to his last breathe. The pathology report said, “Large intestine, rectum, low anterior resection (LAR), well to moderately differentiated intestinal type adenocarcinoma (tumor size about 4.0 cm. in maximal diameter) invading through the whole thickness of muscularis propria into the perirectal soft tissue with mild peritumoral inflammatory host reaction, patchy extracellular dissecting tumor mucin production, frequent peritumorally lmphovascular permeation in the perirectal soft tissue, evident stromal desmoplasia, and no definite lymphovascular permeation identified.” The diagnosis is Malignant Neoplasm of Rectum, the third stage. The statics state there are above 60% of the third-stage patients can survive after the surgery in five years if the cancer cells don’t metastasize to other organs. This news was like the sky fell; my family and I were panic, frustrated, and depressed; my mum cried several times in the back. I knew not a single word about what the doctor said, but checked them one by one in the academic medical dictionary and related essays.

    “The primary tumor invades through the muscularispropria into the subserosa or the nonperitonealizedpericolic or perirectal soft tissues, invades greater than 5 mm beyond the boarder of the muscularispropria.” the report said again in the second year. Thus, the doctor suggested a surgery; the surgical operation was low anterior resection with end to end anastomosis and this hospital course would take 10 days; I thought I was the healthy one who was able to do the healthcare, so I lived there as an accompany, and later those of those sufferings in the hospital have awakened me up.

    “Under GE surgical imaging, the patient was put on lithotomy position. The skin was sterilized with Aqua BI and drapped as usually. Low midline incision was done. Explored to peritoneal cavity. Enterolysis was done and exam the whole colon and liver surface. The patient stood the procedure well. He was sent to POR in stable condition for post-operative care.”Family and I were praying outside of the operating room and thanks God; the surgery was successful and even the doctor demonstrated the radiography and the bloody tissues (about 10*10 cm flesh) after the surgery. I suppressed the feeling to nauseate on the spot and pretended I was one of the professionals like a doctor. Seeing all that flesh, blood and disgusting liquid is not a horrible thing; the horrible thing, the Horror is I turn my eyes away and assume they do not exist. It means that I choose to give myself to the horror.

    The intern doctors were kind, though they just graduated from school, they came to the room and checked all datasheets in every two hours; they all wear the glasses and swung them a little bit in the same direction. The main surgeon came into the room only once in a day, and usually be followed with a bunch of his students. He took the board in front of the patient and the discussed the illness loudly like presenting a circus show. At this awkward moment, I felt I was the clown and asked some stupid questions timidly, “Doctor, you said the wound will recover gradually in three days. How long the threads can be taken out, as the wound starts to get itchy and stinky?” He glanced at me without answering; turning his back like he didn’t hear it. That’s the first time I learned this word “Authority”. The authority is in the senselessness white gown.

    My memories were a bit blurry but tried to reminisce it, I still could have those unpleasant smells in the nose of the particular bleach, the bleach to whiten the crumple green sheet to remove stains, and some kind of unknown smells mixing the patients’ urine, those tastes of red, yellow, violet purple pills or powders as if they are thrown out from deep patient’s stomach, the overnight vomits from somewhere, the chemical almond sweetness spreading from intravenous drip upon the iron hanger; the white walls that they have absorbed all kinds of smells and sounds into them and turned a slightly more silence. The post-operative care was exhausting, hardly to get sleep. Several midnights, my back was lying upon the wall, counting the numbers of the siren sounds from those ambulances, and sent my prayers to those whom got injured. There was an aged man 75-year-old in the same room; his cups were empty of water frequently. I thought to myself, I don’t know why your family is not around, but I do what I can do at the moment. So I poured water to his glass full like his was never empty. I imagined I was Amelie in the film of Le Fabuleux Destind’d Amelie Poulain. Sometimes, I more feel I was like monstrous insect-like creature in Franz Kafka’s the Metamorphosis. Sometimes, I wandered around floor by floor, corner to corner, circled stairs in stairs, listened all kinds of sounds in the hospital, few distant crackles, passing by the gates of corpse room, new-born room, some heavy- syndrome’s center, like I was one of them, the phantoms; or am I actually one of them; or soon will I be one of them?

    In theory, once the patient was taken out the tumor, the patient would get recovery. To detect if there is any potential tumor’s metastasis, the patient needs regularly to do the Carcinoembryonic Antigen (CEA)- one tumor marker index. Before doing the test, the patient is required to drink a glass of transparent water.“It’s like drinking the metal, yuck.” soliloquized him uncomfortably. “But it made you an iron man.” I encouraged. Every time, our family’s emotions were like taking the roller coaster, ups and downs while waiting for the doctor’s updated report. In the meanwhile, I went back to my careers in the city. However, it seemed like the unfortunate knocked our family’s door again after about two years, the CEA index raised high and it began the chemotherapy. The Fluorouracil 1000mg/20ml/VI, it caused the nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, headache, hair loss, itch, the cardiotoxicity ache, but he needed to take this drug daily; Irinotecan 100 mg, the side-effects include diarrhea, immunosuppression largely decreased, so the patient easily got cold, and not easily got well again. Our house was full of the medicine smells. The genetic testing report: the plasma, absence of mutation in codon 12, 13 of K-ras gene which shows no detectable mutations in these codons, but why did he have to suffer this disease? God didn’t answer me this question.

    During the final stage of this disease in between of chemotherapy, how could I describe the sense when two hands full of the patient’s sudden vomit with drops of bloods; or been startled the midnight calls from the hospital, or someone in your memory was big and warm, but had shrunk so small like a pale skeleton displayed in the glassy closet; someone you thought strong but turned out you needed to support his arm to the bathroom? How could I describe the long-term chemotherapy also suffer the patient in great pain to depression and they sometimes cursed everything, every subject they saw, even for the birth of their loved child? Every time when he said, “Remember to take care of your mum…””…oh..okay.” I answered. “Did you see that tree I plant have grown the fruit?”“…yes…”Actually not yet.I thought to myself, next spring when the weather gets warm, I get to buy a wheelchair and take him around.“… maybe you can think to move back with your mum…””…oh…” These moments were I was trying to avoid because every word he said like the last words he would leave to the world, and from every parents’ eyes, their children are always children as if they haven’t grown up.

    The chemotherapy took him and we family in and out the hospital many times and he had become weaker and weaker; one night the condition got worse; he slipped in the bathroom and was later sent to the hospital emergency room immediately. I was pathetically terrified; the cold sweat crawled along my back like a dreadful snake grabbing my vertebrate spirally. That night I kneeled down and prayed to God, but the miracle didn’t happen or it happened, so released him from his painful body? The pillow rose about his shoulders and pressed against his breast and the memory was being squeezed out of it: there were few times his lips moved like he was trying to say a word but couldn’t make it into the sound. I tried to use the cotton swab to moisturize his lips, but still couldn’t hear a word.The innumerable catheters were extended from everywhere of his body; mouth, nose, the urethra, the respirator, the oxygen mask; some transparent liquids were dyed the bloody scarlet. How come a human has to suffer this great pain? I watched my refection upon the window and asked this question in the darkest night air. Don’t be silly, lord, there are some moments not fine, no need to pretend. No matter how much time to prepare the subject of death, no matter how well preparation in mental there was no point to prepare it well. I gazed the distance behind the window, it seemed like a fog rose over the horizontal and spread closely making everything looked vague than usual.

  • Avatar of Precious
    Precious said ...

    Hi Jason!

    It’s because of my love for my husband that I decided to write this message and I’m praying and asking the universe to conspire so that you’ll be able to read this. My husband is fan of yours… I actually believe that you are the “only” musician that he adores and your music simply soothes him! He introduced your music to me and I was beholded. :) We were supposed to be in your concert last May in Manila but unfortunately, my husband’s father died 2 days before your concert. My husband is a wonderful and loving son, he was the one who tirelessly supported and loved his parents. He was really heartbroken with the untimely passing of his father and to make things not so nice even more, his father died just few minutes before mother’s day and our 6th wedding anniversary. I’m writing this because it’ll be his birthday this coming October 15 and I know somehow, that it will make my husband happy and feel special and even more loved if he’ll be receiving any message or greeting from you. I know I sound so “cheesy” already but this is really the least I can do to give back to him all the love and care and understanding he has been giving me all these years and to somehow ease the pain that he’s been nursing the past months because of his father’s death. It will make him happy and will be surprised for sure if ever he’ll get a message from you. Now, I’ll be storming the heaven with my prayers that I’ll receive a reply from you soon. Take Care, Jason and please please continue to inspire the entire earth through your music and love! :)

  • Avatar of Peaceout
    Peaceout said ...

    Hoping you received the package I sent ya! It hasn’t come back yet – so that’s a better sign then before. ;-)
    Warmest regards for a happy weekend. I also hope you thoroughly enjoyed the trip up north. Santa Barbara sounds like it was a great success. /
    Laura

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    Bro Mraz: Live long and prosper with your new bride.

    Instagram: This is how Cary Grant looked before he hit his stride at middle age. No, really.

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    Instagram: What a great picture of Life.

    Brother Toca, how the hell are you?

    Love X 3 = you

  • Avatar of CarmenS
    CarmenS said ...

    Starting something that might seem foreign to you, like something as abstract as “art lingo” or employing a phrase in an unknown tongue, can drive you as nuts as fiddling with a button on a suit would.

    Letting you in on a little secret. Do your best and always show yourself some love. Swear?
    Now you know.

    Much love,
    Carmen

  • Avatar of adam378
    adam378 said ...

    Nice Response, best wishes on your journey.

  • Avatar of socalsal82
    socalsal82 said ...

    Goddamn. I had forgotten how good your writing is. Looks like I’ve got some catching up to do.
    Get some rest, J.

  • Avatar of lorrain19e
    lorrain19e said ...

    Não se aposenta! Vou morrer de saudade.

  • Avatar of GloriousMe
    GloriousMe said ...

    One day at a time, one sleepless night at a time, one day of downtime and it begins again. I don’t dance in your circle, but I know the tune. You are blessed. I believe your art is from the soul and that makes it wonderful even if you’ve sung it so often you feel disconnected some nights. The soul and the beauty in your music is one of many good things you’ve put into the world. I am grateful for it.

  • Avatar of kaywynn
    kaywynn said ...

    my dearest jason,

    you are not spoiled, you are blessed. blessings come in all shapes and sizes. you were blessed to be protected from the elements while traveling the roads of thailand, just as those workers braving the elements were blessed that they had a job to allow them to provide for their loved ones.

    just as you are blessed, you have been and continue to be a blessing not only in my life, but countless others as well.

    don’t fret about not having style or swagger, you have authenticity. that authenticity is just one of the reasons we love you. the superficial love afforded you by fame aside, we love you for just being you; your willingness to share who you are as you learn, adapt, grow and make your way through life as you try to find your place in the world.

    btw, i loved the emerson quote. here’s one from oprah winfrey that i’ve wanted to share with you for some time now:

    “We often block our own blessings because we don’t feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough. You’re worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”

    if it’s the words of emerson and not winfrey that help to reassure you that you must be doing something right, just know with all certainty, I breathe easier because YOU have lived.

  • Avatar of kyonkyooon
    kyonkyooon said ...

    We can only know the preciousness of freedom when we are too busy.

    BTW I feel alive when I am busy.

  • Avatar of wlmlkw
    wlmlkw said ...

    this post inspires me to write again

  • Avatar of ashley
    ashley said ...

    I love this entry, so nice to read! And I want to tell you and the ladies that I love the album5 updates. They’re hysterical & beautiful; most especially the most recent one. Llve this idea that these sessions are either the thing or the thing bringing you to the thing. I appreciate that you are open enough to allow that either outcome is possible, and I love that your collective creative process can be that organic. Do make say think: http://youtu.be/EYRwE9HPgpM It’s a great season to be creating something sweet. August. When summer’s green begins to dry and the world becomes golden. Nebraska’s wind-threshed wheat fields must glow right into the sky. Good luck. Keep playing. Keep feeling.

  • Avatar of Peaceout
    Peaceout said ...

    Good morning,
    -The sun always continues to rise, moment by moment, in our hearts.

    I just want to say that I don’t personally think you are spoiled. You actually have traveled thousands and thousands of miles for your fans. Therefore you have traveled there to meet each and every one of them, whether it’s face to face or through your voice.

    You have worked really hard. You had to summon the courage to leave your life and drive across country to towards your dream without knowing exactly what it would be like. That young man who came to meet you had a dream as well, and the courage to take that journey. I am so glad you were there to meet him.

    I struggle with my own mind quite a bit. I keep having to shake the illusion that I am lacking something or not enough. It’s not true though. This is just a challenging world to be in but I really believe that there is a purpose for each and every one of us. My is hope that every single being will see their own brilliance. (You are all brilliant jewels.)

    I vote to keep striving our best to be as warm and brilliant as the sun, starting from the heart.
    Never, never give up.

    -L

  • If you measure your success by the number of people you inspire and whose hearts you touch.. consider yourself widely successful because you have inspired and inspire still a vast number of people myself included. : )

    We Love You…. Just for being You!

  • Avatar of funfumiyo
    funfumiyo said ...

    Thank you for the fantastic show at Tokyo !!!
    Please come again.

  • Avatar of oksaril
    oksaril said ...

    Привет, Jason! Its a russian langvich) sorry…
    немного жаль, что комментарии без ответа.. но все же.. попытаюсь…
    Самое главное – это не оправдание, это позиция – не злость, а недоумение…
    Я из Москвы, но, к сожалению, не была на концерте, увы( Но ребята поклонники очень ждали, долго-долго – Вашего визита в в Россию, почему, почему не оставили никакого шанса на автограф? эх… Как я поняла, впечатление о нашей стране сложилось из общения с водителем – ну что тут сказать, жаль… Ведь могло бы быть по-другому! Или визит в Москву всего лишь один из большой череды таких же визитов…
    не обижайтесь, пожалуйста (если вообще прочитаете и захотите перевести то, что написано) – Ваша музыка (и не буду увиливать – и Вы сами) – для меня многое значат! Никому из близких моих Вы не нравитесь, и, частично из-за этого, Вы еще более мне дороги.
    ..жаль, если мой пост в пустоту

    Oxanaю

  • Avatar of kidest
    kidest said ...

    I write just like that when my head is crowded, running in every direction, until I stop moving (the mental running) and bring myself into the moment. Right now it’s just this – this box, this typing, this desk and nothing else. No past to come from, no future to get to, just fully occupied in the moment and allowing it to occupy me just as fully…just this moment where I am, all of the internal commotion stops and it’s like you’re floating in space, suspended while alive and alert. We can travel without travelling, move without moving. It’s so different when you keep the mind still regardless of all the doing-ness you live out physically.

    “Any question pertaining to music or performance is a suggestion that art is finite and can actually be explained.”

    Isn’t this true for life in general?

    I imagine our every day choice is to be the un-moving traveler.

  • Avatar of JaneJohnson
    JaneJohnson said ...

    Your voice is an amazing gift. I’m glad your not ready to retire! Touring,and away from home must be hard sometimes. Your so fortunate to have discovered and chose your path and have been so successful at it. I’m searching to discover a new one. Funny, even the best of careers have pro’s and con’s. I think I’ve been in that cab before with that same driver! Loving the new music and songs from your tour. Wondering, what’s the next level your trying to achieve re:album updates? Stay Well.

  • Avatar of CarmenS
    CarmenS said ...

    It would seem, to a certain degree, that somebody might have been doing some looking up!
    Draw upon your strengths.

    Be kind to yourself, Sunshine.

    Much love,
    Carmen

  • Avatar of MarLuna
    MarLuna said ...

    This Journey to be continued . . .
    I start off Monday with a memory of a weekly message site I like to read before I start my week and this is what it said: Monday-Tuesday “Expect Miracles, your feel like your missing opportunities or are bored open eyes to possibilities. Wed-Thurs “Everything moving at a fast pace, delays are over, things happening all at once. Fri-Sat: expecting worse self-fulfilling prophecy, sleepless nights (so glad I diverted this).

    Monday was a hard working day but I was awesome and handled a 3day conference with ease and no problems. This is big for me cause I usually stress over details, but I was open to fixing mistakes if needed and deliberate to enjoy as much as this responsibility rather than seek perfection in the eyes of those watching if I can handle it alone. . .I f’ing did it! But I didn’t put emphasis on how I was perceived just doing the job PERIOD. Hot bath

    Tuesday, feeling overwhelmed but my Taurus was eager to work and get it done so I can be lazy in a summer haze, pushed me to work hard in the day and to read and understand litigious documents at night. AGAIN in the past would of frozen me in fear of not thinking I was smart enough to do on my own (or get stuck in the details), but I decide that I’m not alone and if I need or do something wrong I will somehow get help to fix it; It’s been clear for years it’s meant to be cleared up and put away and to revert to the beginning of the start of that first love lesson chapter “friendship/soul mates with a mission” . . .to quote Ray La Montagne “This love is over.” Hot bath

    Wed, feeling good I missed my colleagues now returning from summer break, loving is getting to be like breathing, easier and sweeter when you acknowledge a full intake of breath (the cleaning crew, delivery people) also linger for a bit to share space with me; we are like the Maori exchanging Hongi in spirit. I get a text from ex wanting to meet with me Thurs to discuss the papers I petitioned. My high flutters and starts to take a nose dive to the “what if’s” and I decide that I will just throw my heart chakra at everything appearing scary, I recover.

    Thurs: I walk meditate and look myself in the eyes each moment of the day intently telling myself I am loved and protected and then like my Dad taught me I wink at myself! “The meeting” was easy although I am warned about the financial tsunami that is coming toward me. I decide that at least if I drown in debt I have now stopped the pipes from bursting any further. The meeting ended, and it was clear it was based on love for who we really are “good folk, friends that tried to be lovers.” My dream seeming to becoming true,we will end our lives in understanding and I pray peacefully in this village I once lived in.

    Friday: Get to courthouse, I pass by a car license that read “chin up” Awesome and I laugh pointing to folks passing by looking bleak … and it lights them up in a laugh SCORE! Standing in line I could feel the tension and fear and I am humming and decide to join conversations with playfulness. They speak about anger, resentment and fears…and never falling in love again. I inject that I am happy to be here to end this and I won’t stop me from loving because I know so much more now and smarter I just won’t mix finance; give me a pre-nup I don’t want business mixed with the heart again; the rest is easier to fix. They look at me as if I’m naive but they accept it and don’t add wise cracks; seeds planted. I go to the next line (much longer) there I find the same thing. I decide to take a picture announcing out loud (picture people not making eye contact and quiet in line while constantly eyeing their watches) that “My boss has to believe I’m going to be later than expected!” Snickers start. The lady in front me half turns, yeah I hope I don’t get it wrong again …one piece of paper missing, those guys downstairs are useless. “Not to me I reply, I got tons of help I just told them I not sure if I did it right and they asked if I wanted to meet with a counselor.” Yeah, just ask for help, not just a certain question on the paperwork I said. I hope if she did do it wrong again, she just received the missing ingredient to fix it. The lady in back of me complains that she really messed up her neck and it hurts really bad. I ask her if she wants me to massage it. Again snickers from a few in the line, and I realize that I’m offering a stranger of 2 min to put my hands on her personal space is perceived as strange. She laughs no it’s okay. I persist “ You know sometimes, you just have to ask for help and accept it from strangers.” She smiles and says thanks but I think I need meds and polite conversation continues. Last weekend at the beach I offered a mother carrying a huge bag and baby help down the hill to the beach but it was politely refused, again I offered another group if they needed help as I was descending with no heavy items and felt useless . . .but again I was denied.

    Are we afraid of help or do we suspect danger in someone wanting to assist? YES, yes we are.

    Am I staying in this new village of a quiet community already completed . . .or shall I continue to a village who needs a architect/builder?

    Jason, you are the architect your blueprints help us build better lives; no retirement yet. If you need help call me don’t be afraid to ask for help!

  • I hope the real Thai Massage did treat you well. Welcome to the Land of Smiles. I hope next time I can join your concert in my hometown, Bangkok and shout “Jason, you are the best!” once again.

    Keep rocking the world with your spirit Jason

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    Tuesday, August 20, 2013
    Scary drivers. Sounds like eastern Europe.

    Wednesday, August 21, 2013
    The “finding yourself” part is perpetual, so lean into it. Living is like a scavenger hunt: once you find one clue, you’re off to find another. You might have a respite from the chase—sometimes you forget who or what you were supposed to be chasing but you keep racing anyway, sure that you’ll figure it out before you get too lost–or you might have to hit the road running. At some point you realize that you’ve been looking for home this whole time, like Dorothy. You just needed time to recognize what it looked like, and time to want to stay there for good.

    The balls part: They’re probably big enough, just spread too thin, like the figurative version of what a woman actually feels when she gets a mammogram.

    BTW, you don’t have to have style when you sing your heart out. Everybody knows that.

    Thursday, August 22, 2013
    Ice cream for sale everywhere?! That’s my kind of town! I ate two pints of Blue Bell Ice Cream plus a bowl of HEB’s creamy vanilla in one day last week. I think I was stress-eating for two, me and you!

    Friday, August 23, 2013
    TALL Thai models? They must have been part something else.

    The most I have ever enjoyed a beverage: My first summer in Rio, sipping coconut water out of an actual coconut that had been chilled to perfection. Ecstasy. Maybe it will be a Thai coconut one day.

    “I also decide long-term-use suitcases should be called Nut-cases. Cold sores are most-likely triggered by lack of sleep, processed food, and not wanting one. Magic 8 balls are perfectly reliable oracles of wisdom. I will forever be 3 minutes late to lobby call. And just like a phone company programs bugs into phones before unveiling the new model, eye glasses seem to smudge all by themselves.” No sarcasm, no tongue-in-cheek, no double-meaning, no smart-ass quip intended: These realizations are as profound as those of the most renowned philosopher.

    August 24, 2013
    A good post always has a happy ending.

  • Avatar of sailucie
    sailucie said ...

    Dear Jason, I forgot about the tour. Don’t trust those drivers some work almost 24 hours a day to get money and forget about the well being of others. Minimize the night driving. Have a day of rest in between each places if you can.

    Stretch by touching your toes at least 3 times this will re-line the spine and help the body to stay strait and the the brain activity. Yes go for a gentle massage or swim to re-energize. Massage your feet as they support you 5min.

    We only have one life to reach the many, protect the body as it is your vehicle.

    You are tired love and have some rest whenever you can, drink plenty, we love you.

    Lucie

  • Avatar of 1sky
    1sky said ...

    Jeeze, sounds just a bit stressful, sorry :/ ~ Glad you remember to breath WELL, and that it is important to Take It Easy on your Self! “Retire/Retreat in the Mountains” I would suggest Oregon’s LOVE. Green, sweet, mountain air and purity. It is destined though, you will always… continually make this world a better place… forever in the stars, it is written! Kudos to your crew <3 y'all are really synchronized and the blessings radiate! UR right also, Journey is Rad!!! Be good 2 Yourself ;)

  • Avatar of p.gabryelczyk
    p.gabryelczyk said ...

    Thank you, Jason. Your show in Warsaw was absolutly magic. It was my first time with your music “live”, the moment that I dreamed of for many years. I’m just happy. Your music gives me strength and inspiration to live.

    Take care of yourself, I hope to see you again. What you do is very important!
    DZIĘKUJĘ.

    PS your home is not only inside you, is also in my heart.

  • Avatar of gealine
    gealine said ...

    Hi jason.

    what a beautiful blog you wrote, i absolutely love it!
    I can totally relate to te feeling of just wanting to quit everything simply because things are just not going the way you want it.

    But if you ever decide to do something else with your life.
    Please don’t do it in a moment of sadness, when you feel bummed out or when you’re just tired.
    You deserve to quit with dignity. When you feel like you’ve givin it all. And it just feels closed.
    I hope that if you’re retired, you will look back and feel nothing but positive emotions about that important puzzel piece of your life. Wich (to quote you) made you who you are today.

    And if you do i want to say goodbye to you ;) :P

    Much love as always

    Gealine

  • Avatar of shorekimmy
    shorekimmy said ...

    Not spoiled, pampered.

  • Avatar of Krobin85
    Krobin85 said ...

    I love you, I love you, I love you!!
    I would like to recommend a book by Saint John of the cross, a famous 16th century mystic , entitled, “Ascent to Mount Carmel”. It’s not an easy read but it’s a good guide book of Christian mysticism. The author warns against many dangers in spiritual life which may see marginal in the beginning but may lead you astray. such as meditation and emptying yourself from anything that isn’t God is good, but many things seem to be God,

  • Avatar of Ltweetytoes
    Ltweetytoes said ...

    What a great post! I too am a Journey fan. And “Lights” is the song I listen too when I’m missing my city, my hometown.
    Love the positive vibe in your journal and your music. It’s helped keep me sane through some rough times.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences, even though not always ideal. We all have the good, the bad and the ugly to live through but it’s our attitude that makes it or breaks it. Life is what you make it! :) .
    Keep shining…

  • Avatar of Rubyy
    Rubyy said ...

    I didn’t had the opportunity to say this to you the other day because:

    1. i was late for my visa interview

    2. I couldn’t believe it was you – it was too random for me as I’m from Malaysia & to bump into you in warsaw is just too surreal

    2. I wanted to say how thankful I am as you, Mona & your other companions were being too polite to say “no-pics-i-just-want-to-be-a-tourist-today”. I truly appreciate the kind gesture as this has always been a wish of mine to meet you one day

    I can somehow relate to your frequent traveling life as I myself travel alot due to my job. I am a wedding photographer and I am crazy about people in love. I put 101% in my job all the time but it means being away from my husband pretty often. I’m thankful he understands I’m doing what I love and that makes our time much more precious when we meet again.

    Your raw personality, passion for music, humbleness is what makes your fans like about you. It’s rare in this industry

    I hope you and your lovely crew will get as much rest as possible & THANK YOU again for being a really kind & humble man. Namaste

  • You are human, after all. ;-) I breath a sigh of relief.

    To not be a Journey fan is to not know one of the sweetest voices to ever grace the circus that is Rock and Roll.

    Be well J-man.

  • Avatar of Saffirahweb
    Saffirahweb said ...

    Jason I’m Naïma we met on thursday… I feel such a good feeling while reading your post also it is nice to get into your thoughts because we cant imagine whats going
    On in ur head soo if u r just like me u write because u need it .. .. I wanted to tell u so much things when i met you but with my stress this would have been possible but only in my language French… I’m happy u wear my necklace… I hope u didnt thought i was being too demanding bout the pics also i hugged so much …

    I feel like we r connected in a way now because i wore my necklace for about 20 days and it is full of love energy … I hope. U feel it and like it

    I found u were very nice i felt like i wanted to have a coffee with u and just talk get to know u… Although u disappeared so fast i turned around u were gone. I’m grateful i met you
    After all these years… Your music was /is my best companion in this life…

    I decide you are my favorite <3

    I hope u read this if u do please answer me i hope you enjoyed Warsaw cause i was traveling for you only but thanks to that journey I met Greg that french man you are reffering
    And we connected immediately because we share same passion which is your music. I met Sandra from Swiss and her boyfriend.. Well you connect people and i think this is priceless.

    On t'aime fort

    Naïma xx

  • Avatar of bashsimplicio
    bashsimplicio said ...

    And I decide that you’re the awesomest person I’ve ever known. :)

    I’ve missed this kind of blog of yours, J!

    Here’s to more decision that you’ll make!

  • Avatar of funfumiyo
    funfumiyo said ...

    I can’t wait !! I hope you have a nice and smooth flight to Japan.
    Take care.
    From Japan with love.

    Fumiyo

  • Avatar of consuelo
    consuelo said ...

    Coconut water, long soaks, massage, yoga and staying connected to friends and family are good balances to the craziness of touring. Repeat as necessary. Do your best to stay in your present and find the humor in it all, and sure enough your future will be here before you know it. The one where you have slowed the travels and used your hands to make things besides songs. Time to sit under a tree and eat a mango, watch the chickens running around, etc.

    “What is this life if, full of care,
    We have no time to stand and stare.”
    –William Henry Davies

    In the mean time I am so grateful you are willing to share music and your thoughts to everyone. As we dance into tomorrow.

    Love,
    Joan

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    I’ve missed this Jason…

    Too much too ponder to post anything of length.

    Vayan con Dios tú y tus seres queridos.

    That’s not Russian, Polish, or Thai, but a language I know you understand.

    Love

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