Make some noise.

February 21, 2012

I farted during an interview once. Okay, maybe twice. Which is no big deal. Everybody farts. Some of us by accident and some by malicious intent. No matter which way it unfurls, it’s unlucky during an interview; a time when both sound and character are being recorded for posterity. YouTube has a wonderful variety of clips featuring news anchors and TV personalities (Regis Philbin) letting one fly.

 

Everyday, at any given moment, 500,000 people are on planes and in the air. And almost everyday, I am one of those frequent flyers. Whether it’s karma or comedy, I seem to be seated time and again next to the person on the plane with gas, forcing me to sleep & steep in their reverb. After years of trapping my family and friends in my car, American Airlines is giving me a taste of my own medicine, except there’s nothing medicinal about it.

 

In my observations, I’ve noticed one wearing headphones acts as though not hearing a fart is equal to not smelling it. The same rule can be applied when pretending to sleep. That being said, if one ceases to make eye contact, one’s crime is forever concealed. Therefore, do as you wish and celebrate however clever you are; able to hide your denial under a thin blanket, throw your voice, or compose your own sweet music. Like this guy.

COMMENTS (15)
  • Avatar of CarmenS
    CarmenS said ...

    How did I miss this entry?
    So sneaky.
    A little flushed?
    But, good to know your dignity is solid.

    Much love,
    Carmen

  • Avatar of charisma
    charisma said ...

    Silently laughing … I’m choking back laughter tears! Kevin, the cello player IS amazing! Here’s another link of Kevin’s Julie-O video, since the one you posted isn’t playing, I hope this link would… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySTlp6qz7aI. Reading your journal entries is utterly engrossing, especially the ones which drowns me in metaphors.

  • Avatar of Boogie
    Boogie said ...

    hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Avatar of crystale80
    crystale80 said ...

    I LOVE your sense of humor on subjects as light as the fart and you are artist simply so rare today especially not change JASON!

  • Avatar of mrazfan17
    mrazfan17 said ...

    nvr thought i would read something like that from jason…guess he still human…lol with his awsome music.

  • Avatar of shorekimmy
    shorekimmy said ...

    Fart karma, who knew?

  • Avatar of Jean-Canale
    Jean-Canale said ...

    Your sense of humor so nicely compliments your musical talent to make you a great entertainer. ☺

  • Avatar of Marianne
    Marianne said ...

    Loooolll…….” fartkarma ” 100 percent….hiiihiii and by the way ..@gamachan….girls NEVER fart…if they should ever DO that they do it “ladylike”……Oh dear i get carried away being silly .;-)..Jason ..What a great Cellist…Thank youuuuuuuuu……Thanks for making us laugh…..be blessed you dear Sending Love to you ….today to Dubai….:-****

  • Avatar of Nikkiw83
    Nikkiw83 said ...

    hahaha fart-tastic. LMAO That cello player is Amazing!

  • Avatar of gamachan
    gamachan said ...

    This is one example..

    Did you know that girls never fart?

    Ahah!

  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    Dear J,

    I laughed burst from originally sad crying when seeing the first sentence. I just finished a bad interview, and of course not because of fart.

    Thanks for sharing it and every subjects in this blog; sometimes, this moment like now comes unexpectedly but like the firework shines on my sky; if I could catch this moment rightly and correctly, it makes my day a bit different. For this, I sincerely appreciate you and wish this magical moment inspires or makes you laugh too.

    I won’t give up,
    KT

  • Avatar of FrolleinN
    FrolleinN said ...

    wow. this cello-guy is crazy – and really good!
    although your story made me wait for hidden farts… and he could have done most of the time. aaand now i can’t listen to this really lovely music in an unbiased way. this is how fart i’ve come :-P

    save journeys and ungazzy dreams! ;-)

  • Avatar of mrazwordplay
    mrazwordplay said ...

    I never have time to look around on youtube (‘cept for Mraz vids) so I enjoy it when you share things that you like.

    You seem to have a thing about farts, esp. on planes…you must have loved fart jokes as a kid!

    Mar 28, 2010: I just realized my last post was a day off and that Earth Hour was last night. Fart. Luckily I was crashing at my Grandmother’s house where lights are kept down to a minimum.

    April 6, 2009: Excuse me. I farted at the gym today during rep 6 & 7. It was just a tiny squeek but certainly not small enough or solid enough to pass off as a shoe sound.

    March 11, 2009: The Manicure Set: As I was trimming my thin ladyfingers, I thought back to the many Father’s Days and Christmases that I bought my Dad a similar looking manicure set. My Dad must have a dozen of these leather cases stashed somewhere. As a young man with a minimal allowance, it was assumed a toiletry kit was what fathers NEED, second to his freedom to fart.

    Blog 5/04/06 Show me your tan lines…(on a plane, again) Although the poor lady in front of me could easily figure out where that constant stream of gas in our section is coming from. Since I already possess the paranoia that any fart related smell is being blamed on me, I might as well let em rip right?

    02.08.06 Mind the freak. The toilet flush has a delay of about 4 seconds after you depress the button….It smells like a fart on the plane. Even though I know it wasn’t me, I still get paranoid that someone could blame me. I hate when that happens.

    thursday february 3, 2005: the couch trip: I was also faced with an interesting question in last night;s dreamscape. Why is it when you fart, your parents will say to excuse yourself to the bathroom? Wouldn’t a chat room be a better place to let one go? The room could be full but no one will hear it or smell it. This is a breakthrough.

    No matter what the subject is, you always make me smile!

    Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they’ll stop laughing.

    ;)

  • Avatar of kristayyyyyyyy

    You are truly my favorite person. You have beauty inside and out and have the most spectacular voice. I have been a fan for over ten years and I am so happy that you have stayed true to the musician you are. You are such a great person and I was wondering if you could help me. Someone I went to HS with (who I barely even know) has relapsed with leukemia for the second time and he is only 18 years old. It shows you how great of a person he is that I am asking this because I have only spoken to him once. His biggest wish is to go to prom with Taylor Swift on June 1st. It seem silly I know but the support everyone on twitter and facebook is unbelievable and it might even get to her. I was hoping if you could send a little tweet of #teamkevin or even use your connections with Taylor Swift (if you have any). I know you are a busy man and you may not even read this all the way through (and I completely understand) , but I thought I would at least give it a try. I will still be your number one fan :)

    peace.
    -Kristi.

  • Avatar of murderofcrowe
    murderofcrowe said ...

    I needed that laugh today.

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