Live it Up. Write it down.

July 12, 2012

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”  

 

~Ray Bradbury

 

 

I’ve been writing in my journal a lot lately, almost as if I’m writing a book for some reason. Some inner or unknown force is compelling me to write it all down. Everything. Everything as in everything I don’t say in interviews because I’m never asked. Or everything I don’t say in interviews because I don’t want to advocate that kind of behavior. I’m a popular re-run on Sesame Street and I’ve jammed with the Fresh Beat band after all, and I haven’t given up on Yo Gabba Gabba either, so it behooves me to keep it clean and wholesome in the spotlight.

 

But I digress. That’s not entirely why I’m writing a lot these days. I’m writing because it brings me back; snapping me out of downward spiraling spin outs of past failures; do-nothing daydreams and delusions of grandeur, instigated by months of interviews talking about myself which if not careful leads to megalomania and mental disorder; therefore, writing reminds me I’m not crazy and still full of ideas and savvy; full of grace and achievement.

 

Cursive calms the dialogue in one’s head, sentencing the voice to the page instead of asking each newborn phrase to take another lap, busying the mind and denying it its peace. Cursive is also the eloquent language and beautifully curled lips speaking on behalf of the subconscious. When writing, I live multiple lives; those of the past, those of a possible future, and all those happening now that I didn’t know were there until I literally let them go from my dominant hand.

 

I also write for knowing death I suppose. Knowing someday I’ll go; someday I’ll be forced leave this good life and all of its great pleasures behind. And should that happen suddenly, all the secrets I keep and situations I experience in my solitude will vanish with me, as well as all my bullshit or profound philosophies if I don’t write them down. In prose, poetry or song, I might just live a little longer. And then maybe the impact I have on the world will be just a wee bit stronger.

 

I started keeping a journal as a teenager for this very reason; death that is. I didn’t know if I’d live or die or run away or what – I was a teenager after all – and words sustained me. I’d write feverishly all the things I wanted to say to my parents but couldn’t; or I’d write to the assholes at school who’d call me a fag, push me into lockers or tail my car on my way home. I would imagine myself disappearing to another city, state or dimension, leaving behind my brave Jim Morrison inspired poetic rants as an F-you to all. That would show them! I thought. Yet I knew all talk and no action would be cowardly, like breaking up with someone over text rather than giving them the pleasure of calling you an asshole one more time to your face.

 

I was proud of the words I compiled back then, even though when I look back I read them as knock-off monologues from Pump Up the Volume.  Regardless, the words gave me power and clarity to keep living. With ink, my secrets weren’t just in my head anymore, they were on the page – which meant at any point someone else could read them and challenge them into existence; it meant that at any point I could read them into existence, and quite possibly – make them mean something.

 

And with this understanding of thought to word – word to action – came the realization that I could manifest whatever life i wanted. So why hide? I wanted to wanna stick around to revel in the glory of my dreaming? Rather than running away or jumping off a cliff, I chose a higher path and became a public figure, drawing lots of attention, making lots of money, seeing the world, hanging out with artists and celebrities, dating beautiful women, and in plain site for all to see – purposefully forgetting the bully assholes who pushed me in that direction, for I knew my happiness would hurt those who wished me harm. It’s like looking your best when you run into an ex. You win.

 

And still, I didn’t start writing out of fear nor did I keep writing just to benefit the unspoken truths. I continued to write because everyday I’d make little discoveries about myself and/or my relationship to my environment, which is always changing. The older I got, the better life was getting and the better I was getting at life. And I didn’t want to forget where I came from or what I went through to get here. Better yet, I figured I’d want to re-live these high times when I’m 90 reading my notebooks to my grandchildren. Journals are time machines after all, if not fountains of youth, giving me hope – dissipating all fears of death, encouraging me to live it up now so at the very least I’ll have some interesting stories to share as a well-lived and perhaps pervy old man. And maybe, just maybe THIS is what compels me to draw a long paragraph. I’d never have come to it had I not used the pen to ask.

 

It’s said the giant oak compels the acorn to grow.

So too did a young success in his 30’s compel a teen to play guitar and make this so.

And now there’s an old man somewhere compelling me to live it up and write it down.

I look forward to thanking him in person when I get there.

I may as well start here.

Thank you.

COMMENTS (48)
  • Avatar of Moniroca
    Moniroca said ...

    … muda, em deixes muda noi!!!! O_o

    Ets realment impressionant… és magnífica la capacitat que tens per transmetre els teus sentiments d’una manera tant clara que fan que quasi els sentim els que et llegim. És brutal Jason!… Brutal!

    També he tingut un diari durant molts anys, ara, amb el pas del temps, la feina, la maternitat, etc. m’adono que només escric en ell (ells ja que ja són unes quantes les llibretes escrites) quant algun aconteixament “gran” i “seriós” passa a la meva vida…. el darrer la meva separació després d’11 anys de relació… l’anterior tenia un caire totalment diferent… el neixament de la meva preciosa filla!

    la vida és així, un anar i venir d’alegríes i penes i hem d’aprendre a viure-les i passar-les totes de la millor manera possible.

    Ets realment inspirador! Fas que una vulgui ser millor persona del que és!

  • Someday I will get through all of your journal entries (discovered this a little late) because you always have such profound insights to share and really, reading them puts things into perspective. The words you write and then share with us speak to your humanity, which I think is pretty rare for someone in your position. You are incredibly perceptive, honest, and genuine and that makes the beauty of your music that much richer.

    Writing is very therapeutic. When I did my internship in mental health (I’m a budding occupational therapist), I gave my clients journaling exercises on a regular basis; they wanted to share with each other, and the outcome was always powerful. It is such a release. I should do it more often myself. I’ve written journal entries and then completely abandoned the practice for several months-years, and when I find them again I’m always surprised at how much I’ve grown as a person… so it is a good thing to have for posterity, not just for other people but for yourself as you reflect on your life.

    Know that aside from your writing and your music, you are already in the process of leaving something intangible behind- the inspiration you have provided others like myself, who hopefully go on to impact even more lives positively (I think of it as a chain).

  • Avatar of anosako
    anosako said ...

    Thank you for sharing your lovely soul in every way you can. You are muse to others to let them look at life as muse as well <3 Namaste, good soul.

  • Avatar of K.T.
    K.T. said ...

    Hey J

    I just saw it until now after coming back from my journey of gray of in-between. When I saw your blog of this which was written on birthday, I was having a tear of two….hardly to breathe…and full of emotional punch…I need a moment to calm down firstly.

    When the death of someone comes to me, it was a very severe strike to my soul like tearing me up from middle and down to limbo. I thought I would been ready to the moment as having been preparing this moment for a long time and as seeing many death of unexplainable serious illness of my surrounding relatives with my own eyes. The reality was no matter how well preparation in mental, when the moment eventually came, the pouring tears were pulled out but only are allowed in mind because our tradition stated crying on face in front of dead forced they won’t rest in peace. At the moment, nothing I could do but be left behind….There was a period of time I couldn’t grab the actual density of real world, is it raining or sunshine outside; sunrise or sunset, not much difference, and friend of delusion stops by usually. Almost tears every day after a funernal, I heard one said, every drop of a girl’s tear is a pearl, so I am wondering my pearls may be as many as the water in giant ocean sea. I just let work, routine business and study take control of my brain. Pen guides me through this journey too.

    An uncertain thought graduately built-up in mind through this period, if I die young, that may happen if one really drying out from inside and hope to be the moonlight shines on all my beloved persons. At least I need to speak up I love you to all my love, so then my next step taken was to start delicately wrapping every gift and dress up to meet love family, friends, my love, and the greene earth, whispering I love you to their ears, through wind sometimes. On birthday this year, I wrote down “Spread love, love to the universe, love to God”, and shared everything I owned to ones I know, even though a stranger on road. A bit weird thing is love comes from the desperate one thought, if I die young.

    I don’t know what better words to say and would like to say it more than thousands times in person. Thank you Ray Bradbury, thank you J to fill in the blank, thank you the universe, thank you God.

    I will try to live it a step further, write it down; pray and plant the trees as many as I can.

    Thank you. Thank you.

    And thank you.

  • Jason,

    This is the first time I have written a response to your words. You are an amazing artist, you are an amazing man over all. Obviously you are rich but the wealth mean so little in the big picture, I like that you obviously know that. I am saddened that I have not seen you live, and most likely wont ever be able to. That’s really not my point though.

    I feel terrible that you were bullied, and probably are still at least verbally since you are in the spotlight.

    I know my words to a man like you mean nothing, in fact you most likely wont ever see them.
    Jason, you are a beautiful beautiful man with a beautiful soul and a colossal heart.

    God Bless,
    Nanette
    PS even though I haven’t maintained a journal in the past, this particular post has inspired me to do so.
    Thank You!

  • Thank YOU.

    Such a pleasure reading, and may I say, behoove is a FANTASTIC word.

  • Avatar of hajima
    hajima said ...

    ah, wow. that was stunning and unexpected. i just happened to stumble upon your blog by accident. have always liked your clever songs, but damn, you’ve got a poetic soul. lovely! you’ve inspired me to continue my very sporadic journal entries…

  • Avatar of CarKazan
    CarKazan said ...

    Hey Jason,

    I read your journal entires almost everyday but this entry was by far the most beautiful. Im very thankful that you actually share your writings to the whole entire world. They inspire people, and i’ll tell you they definitely inspire me. I’ve recently starting writing as well and it really helps. It makes me bring out the positivity in everything and makes me realize that life is a gift that should be lived. So thank you Jason, for not only creating some kick ass music, but for inspiring me into writing my own. I can’t wait to meet you in August.

    May all your days be summed up with a smile.

    Peace and love,

    Carina Kazandjian

  • Avatar of Rose
    Rose said ...

    Hey J,

    I have always thought that your “writing” voice was very different than your “speaking” voice. The way you come across in interviews always leaves me wanting more…not because of you..but because of the questions they ask you in interviews…

    I am especially grateful for your journaling because you have changed my life in several ways. The blog where you described my crazy life in a Lovely way, the inspiration you gave me to make the most out of my life and dream big…let go of fears and know who I am. Find my gifts and use them. Your songs have brought me joy and made me cry ..they have given me goosebumps and forced me to listen over and over to see if I can actually figure out what the fuck you are singing about..What I would do to get you alone in a room with my own list of questions…they would be real and deep and it would take hours, and no I am not the groupy type …. Because I WANT to know…I am fascinated by song writing…the whole process… I have to tell you I wrote a song for you about your last break up…even though I know no details…when I take it out to read it, I get nervous and nauseas and jittery because I think it might be a good song..

    I have never had a journal…I have just used your blogs as a journal. Sometimes I look back at what I wrote, and think what the Hell was going on in my head..who is that person? I think I sound different in Writing than in person.

    A couple of days ago I happened to be hanging out with a pretty successful singer who I am sure you know and had so many questions I knew it would overwhelm him…I didn’t want to bother him, I wasn’t sure he would want to talk about it…it was so weird..I have been wanting to throw my self against a wall ever since. It’s hard to know how to approach someone who has had so much success and not have them think you are some crazed awkward fan. I am someone who really listens to lyrics and wanted so badly to ask him what he meant by this line or that line…I wanted to tell him one of his songs makes me get choked up when I hear it and the strings at the end are so lovely…and if he needs a personal trainer I would love to work with him if his daughter is up for it I need a babysitter from time to time because she is so sweet, and the story of how he met his wife is poetic and he deserves all the wonderful things in his life that are happening…but no, I told him the friend had the perfect amount of salt whu??????…wait…I am rambling…

    Anyway, Point is J I love your brain I am so Thankful for you and what you have put out there for me to see. It means so much…I love your honest nature, it has been amazing to see your transformation…I will see you at the Gorge, front row biatch (maybe sneak in for a meet and greet)…the first place I ever saw you…

    Hugs and High Fives

    Rose

  • Avatar of Jed4059
    Jed4059 said ...

    Just watched you on storytellers with my kids, 4,6 and 8. They are too young to go to your concerts, so this was the next best thing. They loved it, as did I. Bet you thought your primary demographic was 20 year old college students, nope you have kids and 38 yr old stay at home moms too, and my parents went to your concert too and loved it, keep up the good work, keep writing and inspiring.

  • Avatar of BellaShaina
    BellaShaina said ...

    Everytime I seem to lose my way I check in with you and you express something that brings to life a passion and power to choose joy and an outlet to charge a connection to the beautiful side of the world. Thank you for inspiring me to Be Love and for being a mentor just by sharing yourself.

  • Avatar of xinxinj
    xinxinj said ...

    Hey my dear Jason,
    I’m struggling to write out my feelings and I wonder whether people who just choose loving life over giving up will all feel the same way like you and me and like what you write in this journal.
    There is love and hope of course. But there is also some bitterness that you just can’t describe to others. You are fighting with those bitterness and you want to win that battle because you choose to believe life is good.
    And I feel it in me, and I read it in you.

    I know how hard it is for an ordinary person like me in BJ China to struggle against that bitterness, and I know it is even harder for a public figure like you. It takes courage.
    And you are doing well. I mean it. You are courageous and just keep going, man.
    Remember you are loved. Remember life is beautiful. You deserve it all. Keep that in mind.

    You’ve just thanked the ole man.
    And I should thank you.
    Thank you for keeping struggling against the negative part, thank you for choosing to love life, and thank you for sharing that courage to all the people listening to you.
    Thank you.

  • Avatar of audreyibz
    audreyibz said ...

    Good morning.
    I read this post yesterday and I’m thinking about it all day. I’m sorry but I don’t my mission in life is to life a legacy. I don’t want the people remember me for my achievements. I want the people remember me for my own. I don’t know you can understand me and I don’t know if I’m explaining well. When I’m gone, I want the people who love me, remember me with a smile on their faces, not seeing something done for me.
    I see a lot of sadness in your words. I hope you are well. I hope you feel the love of the people send you every day.

    Thank you for sharing.

  • Avatar of MarLuna
    MarLuna said ...

    I used to have a journal and was younger and used it to balance my frustrations with the human race, and I would also write my wishes of the beauty I would witness; or dream of witnessing. It’s incredible to now know it turns out I was mainly writing poems of affirmations. I hadn’t picked up the pen but a few times to write short stories for my children or my inventive mind squeaking out a creative sources of possible income or opportunities to “leave behind” something useful for mankind. I have abandoned that side of me that wishes to speak of my deepest truth, all because an unloving step mother decided to dispose of my journals and my stain upon the house she now claimed as solely hers (I realize now, the opportunity of these once deep scars, gave me a chance to love greatly in forgiveness-so glad I did it in the flesh as well as in the soul). I’m taking back my power with the pen for purpose.

    As for @Happy Endings, your name is your answer to all things in the dark. Believe that all this stuff is temporary as everyone has the chance to rise from the ashes and light the way for others, as Jason does for you. Perhaps this Blog was directed at you from the highest source. Your Happy Ending doesn’t have to end, perhaps you haven’t learned to have a Happily Ever More . . . write that down each day, and do something nice for a stranger or the earth.

  • Avatar of belledingdong
    belledingdong said ...

    Every letter, every word you typed in. Literally explained most of what I am feeling. I myself own a journal and a blog to let everything out. ” We are always changing. ” You are so right.
    We really are connected. All of us. I can feel it. I can feel my connection to you. You really are an amazing person Jason. I thank God everyday for leading me to you. Thank You for everything you have taught me. Thank You for widening my eyes. From the bottom of my heart. Thank You so much!

  • Avatar of 4meclara
    4meclara said ...

    Thank YOU for this beautiful piece of your heart (and/or soul, mind, vibe, love…)

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    I don’t know if it’s a new song or a transition, but “It’s alright to feel” in the Bangkok, Thailand video is hauntingly beautiful.

    Love

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    Instagram: Hemp is for hammocks, and nukes are just a bad idea.

  • Avatar of Ally
    Ally said ...

    Secret of Life: To be Loved

    Start with yourself, and the rest will follow …

    (J, why wait till you’re 90? You’re 35..some would already consider you a “pervy old man” :) )

    ~Ally Old Soul
    xox

  • Avatar of shorekimmy
    shorekimmy said ...

    Thank you J. It’s wonderful to have the gift of you sharing your thoughts again. It was such a shock when you took the old blog down. I do miss the air chair. Writing is so good for the soul. Love to you, love to all.

  • Avatar of GoodGoodMusic
    GoodGoodMusic said ...

    I will be reading this again.

  • Avatar of lovePEAR
    lovePEAR said ...

    Reliving High times when bumping in on an old Journal sure is sweet <3 Yes, Thank you !!!! Thank you to send me plane tickets for my kids and I to go to my friend's wedding in Lake tahoe & be my date <3 a Lovely way to meet it would be ;) I had to try, if it works ,sure would Rock!!! Keep on dreaming, keep on Loving Keep it Real :)

  • Avatar of puipui.athome
    puipui.athome said ...

    I love reading your journal, Jason. And it’s always worth to read. Thank you! ♥

  • Avatar of Marianne
    Marianne said ...

    Dearest Jason,what a feeding inspiering journal,thank you so much to put your thoughts in words and share them with us.I am touched and moved as well,thank you for being you,writing that open and honest , find myself listening to your words and it sounds like a lovesong for life itself ,in gratitude,respect and
    in deep bond( connectivity…dont know which word is right)and love……. from the bottom of my heart

    embraciiees :-*****

    Thank you all people who commented and those who will comment, to those who read it and dont comment…much love community

  • Avatar of ShayneyScott
    ShayneyScott said ...

    Your words always inspire me. Maybe its because of the honesty i feel when i read it or something that just sits right with me about the words that are there. I have so many things to say to you but i can never make them into words. So for now, i’ll just read your journals and try to figure it out.
    So for all your fans’ sake, keep writing the journals. No pressure on how frequent you gotta write them tho.
    Lots of love.
    Your forever fan
    C. Scott

  • Avatar of Chris
    Chris said ...

    After reading this, i’ve been trying to find words, when all i realy want to do is give you a very big (virtual) hug and make you feel loved. I also want to thank you for all the time and energy you give to us (fans)!

    Lots of love to you,
    Christina.

  • Avatar of sleepy_sing
    sleepy_sing said ...

    Dear Jason,

    It is always your truthfulness and humbleness that touches our hearts. Thank you for your beautiful writings and unintentional being the guidance for so many of us.

    The seed has been planted and at least for me, the world is already a little bit different, I am a little bit stronger. I know I am blessed. Gratitude.

    Live in the now. Live in the moment.
    Write it down, sing it out; we’ll read, we’ll listen.
    We’ll experience your now, we’ll experience your moments.

    We’ll remember.

    Always yours,
    Maria

    一期一会 いちごいちえ
    ..:: Treasure every encounter, for it will never recur ::..

  • Avatar of Jean-Canale
    Jean-Canale said ...

    Like the ones who have replied before me….it is posts like this one that keep me coming back to your journal. You are such an inspiration as you share in your beautiful prose your quiet moments of contemplation. Your words draw me into the experiences of life that we ALL share….our common humanity…our highs, lows, and in-between time. Thank you for taking the time to write and share — I especially appreciate that you write in cursive…a skill that is becoming a lost art with the younger generations.

    Your “spot in the garden” of life is well noticed and loved by so many. Glad to count myself among them…

  • Avatar of Mandylu
    Mandylu said ...

    There is something about the written word, the pen to the page and the freedom one can truly possess if they let themselves go. Thank you for always being willing to share such beauty with the world and the people who love you. I choose gratitude everyday as a way to grow and learn and today, Mr. Mraz, I am beyond grateful for you and your inspiring words.

    With gratitude, peace and love,

    Mandy

  • Avatar of elkepelka
    elkepelka said ...

    Thank you Jason- I’ve missed your introspective posts, the ones like this that really unite you with us, the ones that help us know a bit more about you. When you bare parts of yourself to the world. I think it helps many of us who read them be more comfortable in our own skin, and within our own private musings. It’s comforting to know, perhaps in a perverse sort of way, that even someone as accomplished as you has lots of doubts, internal struggles, and the like. For me, at least, it’s a great privilege to us that you are willing to share them with us.

    About those journals you keep, You have no idea just HOW treasured they will be to your loved ones. I lost my youngest son to a brain tumor last August- One of the things since he’s been gone that I hunger for are his written words. Periodically I stumble across something he wrote- he was very much a stream of consciousness kind of writer, so it’s as if I’m in his head when I read those pieces. Imagine the joy of finding a previously undiscovered blog he’d been writing, a voice from someone who can no longer speak those words, yet still a voice. Believe me, they are precious gifts. Those journals of yours will indeed be such a treasure for those you leave behind, no doubt about that.

    Again, thank you. You make a difference, and when your time comes, I believe you can rest assured that that difference will have made this world a bit better of a place. That was one of only things that really made my son sad when he got sick, was the fact that he was still so young and that he wouldn’t have had the time to do something tangible that would have made the world a better place. He did actually make a difference, and hopefully he knows that now. But you for sure have made some real tangible changes that are making a difference. I hope you know that, for real. So once again, I say ‘Thank You.’

    By the way, I’m glad that in the long run, you won, and the bullies didn’t. Sorry you went through it, but glad you had some sort of Herculean inner strength that got you through it.

    Ellen

  • Avatar of mrazfan1031
    mrazfan1031 said ...

    Wow Jason Mraz.
    I believe in you more than ever. This entry came from your heart. Your words never fail to inspire me but this went directly to my heart. Writing your feelings down on paper help to realize what our feelings are trying to say to us. I hope your feelings find the place they need to be. Because so many of your lyrics and beautiful words have helped me find so many places that my feelings needed to be. Because of you, I was able to see things in a positive way, even though sometimes crappy things happen to nice people. I found that your songs and your voice and your messages bring me to a comfort zone and I thank you deeply for being the kind person that you are. You have touched my heart once again and I wish you happiness and love.
    Keep shining your light.
    Love,
    Linda

  • Avatar of jenny.bonin
    jenny.bonin said ...

    While I find few words to describe the insurmountable amount of emotion your entry managed to delve up in me, the words I can piece together are: astounding, awe-inspiring, simply beautiful. You are truly an amazing, beautiful man inside and out and the words you relay onto the world truly have the ability to transform people’s lives into lives of meaning, beauty and grace.

    With immeasurable love and gratitude,
    ~Jenny

  • Avatar of ISeeYouBro01
    ISeeYouBro01 said ...

    Ok I Know I Wrote So Much Already But I Just Wanted Add That Your An AMAZINGGGGGG Writer And Artist

  • Avatar of ISeeYouBro01
    ISeeYouBro01 said ...

    Man You Like Inspire Me In So Many Ways Like I Just Recently Decided To Eat Healthy And Try To Treat My Body Better. Um I Just Recently Started Reading Your Journals And They Are So Amazing. Like I Think To Myself Like This Is A Good Person And I Want To Be More Like That. I’m A Person Who Has Anger Issues And I Do Talk About People Sometimes (Like A Lot Of People Do) But I Wanna Try Not To Be Like That And You Are The Person That Makes Me Wanna Not Do That. I Think I Said That Correctly. Also There Are So Many Things That I Wanna Do Like Backpack Across Countries And Act And Expierence Lots Of Things. Reading Your Journals Always Tells Me Like You Will Be Able To Do That One Day And To Follow My Dreams. Your Muskik (Music) Is Just So Powerful And Uplifting. You Could Be Singing How Your Gonna Murder Me And I’d Be Like It’s Ok As Long As You Keep Singing (Sort Of Like British Accents Lol). Anyway There’s So Much More To Say But I Don’t Wanna Be Like A Creepy Ass Stalker. Um Even If You Don’t Read This Then Other People Can Read ABout How You Inspire Me. Oh Quickly One Last Thing This Mmite Sound Stalkerish But I Think Your Sooooo SEXYFINE! Like Just Soooo Dayum Handsome! Just
    All Of That.
    Thanks For Doing What You’re Doing And Keep It Up Cause The World Needs MR.AZ! Whoop Whoop!!!
    Love Danielle XOXOXO

  • Avatar of HappyEndings
    HappyEndings said ...

    As someone who is suffering his way through life, through all the loneliness, endless bullying during my high-school years, domestic mental and physical abuse endured at home, inner torment, academic failure and being a social outcast who was never able to make friends, i never felt to urge to write down my emotion through a journal. I always kept my emotions tied up inside as i felt my soul dying piece by piece.

    To be perfectly honest, I am contemplating suicide on a daily basis, yet through these dark times Jason’s music gives me so much solace. But it weren’t the positive and overly happy songs by Jason that kept me going, it were these introspective existential soothing songs that provided me with the most comfort and helped me to cope with my struggles. Beautiful songs such as Halfway Home, Longest Day Of The Year, Long Road To Forgiveness, 10.000 Motherf*ckers, Happy Endings, When We Die, Details In The Fabric, The Boy’s Gone, Plane, Mr. Curiosity, Song For A Friend, Love For A Child and The Beauty In Ugly.

    ‘I’m halfway home and i’m on my own.’

    ‘Well i suppose we all make a judgment call. Walking alone, stand up tall and march to the fall.’

    ‘Be so happy with the way you are, just be happy that you made it this far. Go on be happy now, please be happy now.’

    ‘I wish that i had had more time, to make more mistakes. I’d make them louder and clearer.’

    ‘If i was only stronger, i’d wish that i was stronger here referring to my heartsong, dear’

    ‘When I wake up and the day begins, do I hold my breath and count to ten? Or will it be three? We’ll see’

    ‘You are wise and you are free to let the apple touch the ground or keep standing tall, this won’t hurt at all’

    ‘When we die, is it just like sleeping, does the light mean that it’s light like a nap?

    ‘All the details in the fabric, all the things that make you panic. Are your thoughts result of static cling? All the things that make you blow, have no reason. Go on and scream. If you’re shocked it’s just the fault of faulty manufacturing’

    ‘Nobody knows me, not me can even see it yet’

    ‘I have gazed up to the sky and followed silver birds that fly above my head’

    ‘What about taking this empty cup and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence, it’s probably because when you’re young, it’s okay to be easily ignored’

    ‘You gotta shine a light to the path back to your home, cause after all forgiveness, it is a long damn road.’

    ‘You gotta find out for yourself whether or not you’re truly trying’

    ‘Nobody’s checking the deeds that you’ve done and nobody’s hearing your cries’

    ‘I’m looking for love this time, i’m sounding hopeful but it’s making me cry’

  • Avatar of kaunkst7
    kaunkst7 said ...

    I envy those who can write so honestly. So completely from the heart. This blog entry is amazing and inspirational. You have a true gift! I love to write. I’ve never been able to translate my thoughts into actual words so eloquently. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world too. You are in a position to make a real difference in peoples’ lives and for that, you should be proud!!! Oh…and eff the assholes!!!! :-)

  • Avatar of HappyEndings
    HappyEndings said ...

    This heartfelt blog reminds me of a beautiful song that Jason has written in remembrance of a brave girl who committed suicide. Too bad that Jason doesn’t release those tracks that honor those lost souls that couldn’t find their way in this life on this earth and chose to go to a higher dimension, because he fears about his image as this happy dude who never writes sad songs.

    She’s a ghost of the past.
    She’s an old throw back as a matter of fact.
    She’s a golden colored cat.
    If you see her at night, don’t cross her path
    Or read her in the eyes as she might attack

    She’s such a comedian. A bit of a deviant. It’s easy to let her in.
    She’s such a comedian. And i’m a fool.

  • Avatar of EvaHassine
    EvaHassine said ...

    Belated happy birthday Jason!!!
    Wish you all light and love what keeps you super centred, down to earth and totally super living.

    LOVEE, yeah! Eva

  • Avatar of yogagrrl
    yogagrrl said ...

    This is one of your best Journal entries ever…so thoughtful and revealing. It feels like I’m sitting down to have a chat with a friend. And much like your recent Storytellers session, you brought me to tears. Your honesty tells me you are a courageous man. You inspire me to be more courageous and honest, with myself and in my relationships. My contentment lies within those words, because I’m worth it.
    Thank you, Jason.

  • Avatar of didikini
    didikini said ...

    Welcome back, my Little Prince!

    This sounded honest and imaginary as you are ;) Ok, I have a suggestion for you. Why don’t you write a book. Yeah, I know you thought about it – maybe your own life story would be a great book, but one like in the fairy tales with all your dreams and perfections. Why not?

    Sending you tones of joy and love

    Yours

  • Avatar of normason
    normason said ...

    That was beautiful, Jason.

  • Avatar of chaufifi
    chaufifi said ...

    Dear Jason, I just started to read your journal entries only a week ago, it was the “Sing Out Singapore”, after reading this entry, I kept reading your older entries, a page after page until I read them all. I love your writing, not because you use beautiful words or sentences, but I love your ideas and thoughts. And I just realized your sharing is gradually influencing my lifestyle, like I just bought a water bottle (not a glass one though), and push myself and my husband to sort our trash at home, so we can send whatever can be recycled to the right place……

    Just hope a bit done by ourselves can gradually help our planet stay healthy and beautiful

    Thank you Jason

  • Avatar of Candy
    Candy said ...

    This is touching, Jason. Living in hustle and bustle, or like you under the spotlight, sometimes make us forget the REAL us. It’s never easy to achieve calm moments and reflect on our inner self, our flaws, our happiness, our feelings and our health. Driven by the job, pressure or simply the setting we’re living in, we always find ‘restrictions’ like no time, busy job, relationship, social life, etc forbidding us to have some quality moment with our own self, which in another way, we can always find good excuses to escape from the voice within.

    You’re living the prime of your life but at the same time getting your mindset ready for your 90s or even death. We see the transformation in you, getting better in life as a better person, and at the same time you have inspired so many of us to think positive, live positive, and make the best out of the time on this beautiful earth.

    Continue to live it up, write it down. Your words empower me in facing the down time and shits in life, and to live high. One day I will be telling my children about the great musician I love, and how he has changed me. Thumbs up to YOU !

    Much love, Candy

  • Avatar of GloriousMe
    GloriousMe said ...

    Made me tear up today. Sometimes there seems no point in writing it down. No one may enjoy the story as much as I do. You reminded me that writing is about more than the story. The process can give you a laugh, heal you, help you grow and enable you let go. At this very moment, I needed that reminder. You don’t know me from Adam, and I don’t know you other than through your music and posts, but it seems sometimes our experiences have been similar. I always look forward to reading how things have turned out for you. Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Avatar of KarenTS
    KarenTS said ...

    Jason,

    Your latest entry is why I love to read your journal. Not because you’re famous and have an amazing voice that fills me up and calms me down when I close my eyes and let the notes permeate my cells (that’s how it feels). But because you are real and you struggle with the same things many of us do—how to make the most of this life, leave behind a mark that makes a difference, and not be forgotten. It’s helpful to know that even you have this same issue—what to do with the quiet moments when work and activities no longer drown out the inner voice that asks why, what, how.

    It might be helpful for you to acknowledge that being an artist is hard. I think of creativity as a frail, selfish bird—always demanding and easily crushed. I would imagine that praise and accolades are nice, but also loud and disorienting at times.

    I never had the courage to become the artist I probably should have been. I took the easy way out and went straight into a career that used some of my creativity and provided a stable paycheck. It’s been rewarding on many levels, but there’s also been a lack of fulfillment and a nagging feeling that I failed to nurture a gift. Unfortunately, I denied art its true value and denigrated it as just something to hang on the wall.

    Your music has come to me at a time when it’s getting easier to stop asking “what if and why,” in exchange for “what now.” You put your gift out there in glorious fashion—it makes me want to stop hiding mine. I’m older than you by ten years, but it’s not too late for me to make art. From what you wrote, it’s nice to think of my current self talking to my 20-year-old self saying, “You’re not ready. You don’t understand yet.”

    When I listen to LOVE in the car, I can’t help but create images for each song. FYI: 5/6 is chock full of rich brown, gold and midnight blue; whereas I’m Coming Over is all milky blues. I guess that makes you my muse. ;)

    So, Jason, live it up. Write it down. Calm yourself with cursive and remember that you make your mark (i.e., help people) with your words and your honesty.

    Much appreciation, Karen

    P.S. I love what Gealine wrote.

  • Avatar of gamachan
    gamachan said ...

    Writing helps loving ourselves. And lets our self confidence growing up.

    Damn! I wish I could translate your post in a better italian..

  • Avatar of gealine
    gealine said ...

    Wow this really touched me.
    I’m in nursing school and i’m in an internship now, yesterday a lady died suddenly.
    Now i realise, that i changed here live and she definitely changed mine. It’s such a powerful idea that you have influence on everything and everyone you do and meet.
    The moment they told me she has passed away I’m yours started playing on the radio, and somehow that made me calm.

    You have to know that you changed my life too, and even when your old and wrinkly there is a dutch lady that will never forget you (if you need a nurse i’m there for you)

    Keep writing everything down, but never forget to live life.

    Much love to everyone who reads this

    Gealine

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