While waiting for the elevator yesterday a woman turned her head towards me and her eyes lit up while projecting crumbs of some kind from her parting lips. She was busy rapidly eating something, but was not concerned about choking. OMG. She said. You’re… Bruno Mars!…
Whenever I check into a hotel I use an alias name so I won’t be bothered. But sometimes the hotel peeps don’t make a note of it and when I lock myself out of my room, which I do often, they refuse me access until I can prove to them that I am who I said I am. I’m sorry I tell them, I don’t have any ID that proves I’m Kenny G, you have to trust me.
Today I even used a fake address when checking in, where upon handing the paperwork over to the hotel clerk he cordially replied, Thank You Mr Magoo, enjoy your stay.
Whoever lives at 11-22 Boogie Woogie Avenue in Freakanicsburg Vagina can expect a holiday card from the Movenpick Hotel.